douchebag digs dirt

2010-03-07T00:33:00.002+08:00

it is really interesting to see different drum styles
the different grooves and fill ins that drummers would do
it's just awesome
to find that kind of personal groove is pretty difficult
you'd have to be really confident with what beats you're playing
i think once you've got that covered
the music timing the tempos and multiple riffs
only than can you find that sweet groove and style just
perfect for you.

just waiting and waiting for that sweet spot in my playing to come up
still waiting

2010-03-04T00:20:00.002+08:00

i've always known that you were beautiful
there's just something about you that i just can't get my mind off
even when i tried so much, all i did was block the thought of you temporarily
i'm hooked. but things will never be
one question still rings in my head
have you always resented me

2010-02-10T00:59:00.002+08:00

ben 10 and ben 10 alien force is simply AWESOME!
catch it every night at 1am- 2am on cartoon network. if only i was ben 10. than that would be whoah!!! haha

2010-01-26T11:29:00.000+08:00

i find myself sitting down at home right now. thinking what am i suppose to do. i have to start putting my head in the game. getting my priorities right and all. studies is the most important thing right now. i screwed up all my previous papers for ALL my subjects, and the only way for me to redeem myself and not flunk and screw up my semester is if i score all the way for this upcoming finals.

so may laziness not be on my side and may i study diligently.

2010-01-21T21:54:00.010+08:00

i'm disappointed with myself. lately, i've been skipping classes, not doing work and causing other people to be at the losing end all due to me being lazy. what is wrong with me? am i a such a bad guy that this is the punishment that i have to suffer? this isn't right. i know i can do work if i wanted to, but all i'm doing is being lazy.

i've also been feeling down lately. it's just the random feeling of sadness and disappointment that one would go through when they find out that they can't remember the last time they were happy. even now, i can't recall the last time i was actually happy. this is therefore a really saddening thing to go through because you face everyday with sadness and disappointment. what is live without happiness.

"find the joy in your life", this is one memorable quotes i've heard so far. i think it's true. for me, i've yet to find it. but when i do, i surely won't be the same.

2010-01-08T21:01:00.008+08:00

Birthday Jam 2009

There was a jam session, followed by dinner. And we were off home after that.

2010-01-07T15:17:00.003+08:00

Oh god, i've been skipping school pretty often now. and it's only the 4th day of school. this is bad, really bad. and going to school is like friggin boring, i don't pay attention and i don't even study. the reality of it is very real.

i'm lazy as hell. that is the biggest problem in my life right now. i'm a fuckin lazy bastard. ask anyone. they'll vouch for me. if only there was a way for me to not be a lazy motherfucker. somebody please advise..

2009-12-04T06:47:00.000+08:00

i'm tired, lazy and bored.

2009-10-31T03:36:00.004+08:00

help! i can't get to sleep! i've been trying to get to sleep since 2am but i couldn't. i kept rolling and rolling in bed for an hour..

and now it's 3.37am and the worst thing is, i gotta be up by 6.30am!!

HHHHHEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPP! HELP!

the word help looks funny when you just look at it and try to analyse it word by word. doesn't it.

ok, maybe i'm ready to sleep now. lets just hope i wake up on time tomorrow morning.. or else, it's definitely gonna screw up my day's planning.

and i found this in one of my folders. it's this years hari raya photo.

2009-10-28T01:20:00.003+08:00

is it just me or does anybody else go through the same thing every now and then. i'm talking about waking up. and what happens in the split second when you do wake up.

alright, i went to sleep yesterday night and i woke up this morning. i looked at the clock on my wall, 7am. and i was in a total daze. i was thinking and thinking, what day is it today? i almost panicked for reasons i thought i'll be late for work or schoool. but all that turn out fine when i remembered that i had school but it starts at 1pm. so with no worries, i went back to sleep.

this is one of the random things which does happen to me on some mornings.

2009-10-24T23:51:00.002+08:00

dear journal,

i just reached home and i haven't showered yet. it's close to 12am now and i need to be awake tomorrow by 5am.

i should probably go shower now..

ooh, and i saw this kick as jacket over at G2000 earlier. but the downside of it is that it has like the turtle neck thingy on the bottom side of the jacket. but still it kicks ass!

2009-10-17T22:22:00.002+08:00

it seems today that all you see
is violence in movies and sex on tv
but where were the good old fashion values
that we used to rely.

left with 1 day before school starts. damn.

2009-10-15T20:57:00.002+08:00

dear whosoever,

i
am
really
not
into
what
i
think
i
am.

whoah
typing
this
way
is
starting
to
give
me
a
headache.

anyways, schools starting off soon. and i'm still gonna work part- time as well. it'll probably be tiring, so they say. but let's see how it goes.

oh, and yesterday while working, this 2 girls came up to me and asked, "Excuse me, are you guys hiring?".
then they said they were 15! i was like, "Isn't that kinda young.." so most probably they're not gonna get to work at our place. i mean isn't the legal age for work's like 16?

ps, i hate my brother's friends. i don't even know them but i hate their guts.

2009-10-04T11:04:00.002+08:00

went for huda's chalet yesterday night. got back home freakin late.
luckily there was transportation provided! hell ya to the sani brothers!

i feel so lazy to blog. there's like nothing much to blog about. what am i suppose to do? write about my day like;
"in the morning, i woke up and the first thing i thought was, what day is it today?!? am i having jamming later on?!?"

"then the jam we had was great. i expected to cock up at the last song, vices like vipers, but hell, it was all good."

"john's a funny ass guy, he's chinese but i feel like he kinda sounds like a malay when he talks!"

oh and to all of whom who reads my blog, I'M VERY BAD AT GIVING AND RECEIVING SIGNALS! HHAHAA

2009-09-23T13:11:00.002+08:00

hari raya has come and passed. some how, i don't feel keen on this year's hari raya.
it's really depressing to feel this way but i have no reason why i behave like so.
i'm was rather angsty during the first day and luckily was a little better the next.
in an overall, it feels like just another hari raya to me. just that the only difference
was this year, i didn't had the feeling.

random thoughts;

- my bro wants to get a skateboard. i'm thinking of sharing it with him so that i
could also use the deck once in a while.
- this year green packets wasn't fantastic. but i'm still greatful.
- i need to work. i need the money.
- i need to find time for gym and also for going to the skatepark with the rest of the fellas.
- some other thing which i can't remember right now.
- i passed managed to clear all my modules. thankfully!

2009-09-19T01:13:00.002+08:00

1 more day to hari raya. great.

i feel like buying a new pair of sticks.
hmm, so it's either gonna be a pair of
vic firth 55A or some pro- mark sticks.

2009-09-16T21:31:00.003+08:00

i think it's been two weeks into the holidays.
and i'm freakin bored out of my mind here.

there's nothing to do. can't find work,
and there hari raya's coming. well that's gotta be fun.
i guess..

somebody please call me out. let's just hang or some
shit like that.
there's pretty much nothing to do if everyone else
is busy doing their stuffs.

2009-09-10T16:55:00.001+08:00

dear journal,

today was the day i was looking forward
to this week.

i was going to have dinner with a friend

but it seems like the odds were against
me having dinner with my friend.
something came up and the whole plan
was cancelled.

how does this makes me feel.
i feel down. i'd better go rest and
clear my mind.

2009-09-08T02:06:00.001+08:00

i'm addicted to WAFFLES! they're so darn good!

it's always nice to know that you're there

2009-09-06T01:52:00.002+08:00

dear journal,

i feel so tired. more so due to lack of sleep.
staying awake sucks to the ding dong core
when there's nothing really productive for
me to do.

well i think i'll go make a couple of waffles
for myself then i'll call it a night.

mmm.. waffles... (watery mouth*)

2009-09-03T22:41:00.000+08:00

woke up a lil late for work.
did overtime reach home then i
got my break fast.

during work, my phone cocked up
on me. it kept going on and off
by itself and suddenly it stopped
and i checked the phone.
MY CONTACTS ARE ALL GONE!!!

well i guess there's a bright side
on this. i get a new beginning.
something like that.

so old and new friends, talk to me
again on msn or sms me to inform me
of your phone number.

thank you.

2009-09-02T19:41:00.001+08:00

exams are finally over. best not talk about it.
alright, so it's officially the holidays for me
and looks like free time, helping out family and
work would be the only thing taking up my time.

more work= more money= more time hanging out

looks like i'd like to work more for this holidays.
i'm not getting any allowance whatsoever so
working would definitely help in my financial status.

alex passed his tp yesterday and he gave me a lift
from school to the mrt in his car earlier today.
and tomorrow is gawaine's tp. all the best to him
in that.

seems like alot of my friends took and passed their
tp, namely, ralph syahrul and alex. next to come,
gawaine.

went back to my secondary school on teachers' day earlier
this week, it was more to see my friends instead of
the teachers. most of them still looks and
acts the same, but the highlight for the event was
definitely my hair.

everyone was like, "wow dan look at your hair!"
some of them were impressed but others still
think that i look better with short hair.

well no matter, by april next year,
my hair would be short.

oh and i met some nice dance girls whom i
see around in school. but remembering their names
are a lil hard. so next time hopefully i can
memmorise each and every one of their names.

2009-09-01T00:10:00.003+08:00

IN THE RAW By Crashdiet

Like a black cat whining in the alley
Like a pet locked up in a cage
I see you strip right down to your toe nail
Feel the rush flowin' rabid in my veins

Feel the customs doing you a srip search
Like a vet i'm giving you the cure
Feel the power coming from my hip lurch
Is she the same fuck that i did before

SEX SHOCK

In the raw tonite
With your face down to the floor
You're my nakedness sensation
From your waist but i want more
Then i shake you to the core
When you're caught in the raw

Get your hand cuffs ready for a good time
Beat your whip my tan is turning blue
Fascination twister of the fine line
I become you notorious taboo

Take it off and get down
My god it's like my head's burnin' up
My mind's so dirty
Get it on,on and on
Ooh, your're my sin ful side

SEX SHOCK

In the raw tonite
With your face down to the floor
You're my nakedness sensation
From your waist but i want more
Then i shake you to the core
When you're caught in the raw

2009-08-27T00:24:00.004+08:00

2009-08-26T14:19:00.002+08:00

i wanna put in pictures in this post but
blogger seems to be running slow or something
has happened that is making it impossible for me
to put in pictures..

so never mind that then.

well,

it's high time for me to start mugging for tmr's paper!
so i shall begin now.

3

2

1

go!

2009-08-25T23:34:00.000+08:00

wow, i haven't been updating for a long time.
the most reasonable excuse i could think of it that
i'm simply lazy.

but there's somethings in my head which i wanna get it out.
so here i am trying to spill it out.

alright, first thing first, exams are a real bitch.
then, there's also the fact that i haven't been jamming
due to my fellow bandmates are busy with their stuffs
which is understandable.

but in order to jam you need cash, and that is a problem.
i've never been the working type, i'm surviving solely on my allowance.
it's not much but it's sufficient. so i really have to
watch out on what i'm burning my money away with.

and lastly, i feel like i
can't do it.
i want to but i can't. it just doesn't feel right.

it's the thrill of the moment that i'm chasing for
and it's hard to get if you know what i mean.

and to end off, fasting has already begun and
that means no more allowance. shit.
and i wanna jam so much right now, i'm like
suffering from the drawback of heroin by not jamming my head off.

so hopefully i can get a decent session soon. i need it.

2009-08-06T04:45:00.001+08:00

when you wake up everyday, do you have a clue on what are you gonna accomplish that day
do you have a purpose for the day, or is it just another routine day
then before you go to bed at night, do you expect something of tomorrow
or just gonna sleep through the night and wake up to the same routine the next day
and the next, and the next

if you're a student like me, do you have an aim in school
or are you just going to school because that's the way it has always been
do you do work just for the sake of gettin through the tests and papers
and do you not do well because you think it's the subject which is hard
confusing complicated

you tell yourself to study, you do
but it has always been easier to say things instead of doing it
and when tomorrow's the paper, you'd try to mugg overnight
worrying about it. how you're gonna fare for the paper
are you gonna be screwed or spared with your overnight work

if what i described sounds like you, let me tell you this
you're not alone
but ultimately you have to ask yourself
are you prepared
nobody's gonna be there forever
to guide you when you're lost
what if something was to happpen and
you've lost your income

what would you do, would you know how to survive
you have to think. you gotta have this mentallity
what would i do if tomorrow, you wake up
and there's nobody around to support you
no parents no relatives no friends
would you survive

(continuing in next post)

2009-07-26T17:26:00.000+08:00

less than a month before finals. better start studying.

2009-07-22T00:48:00.002+08:00

son of a bitch. i hate myself. i hate myself for being so unfocused so to say. being lazy not focused definitely not studying. what am i gonna do with myself.

finals are 3 weeks away and i know shit about anything. common oh common dan, put in some god damn effort in you work. be disciplined.

it's easy to say things. but it's simply different from actually doing it.

2009-07-19T13:05:00.001+08:00

gawain's band was good. with more practise, i'm sure the band would be tight.

i gotta study properly!

2009-07-14T23:32:00.002+08:00

i just had the most demoralising day so far. i know that i'm doing bad in my studies. i just didn't know that i was doing that bad. i found out that i've failed all my papers which holds about 30% plus of my overall grade. and i didn't just failed my papers. i fucked them all up.

there's 4 weeks left before the final exam. the only way for me to pull up all my grades is if i did very well for all my papers for the final paper. seems possible, only if i pick up a new attitude and start focusing on my studies. i definitely don't wanna repeat any of my modules.

from now on. i gotta start putting in more effort. so that i can hopefully get an A for the finals.
wish me luck.

2009-07-11T16:47:00.006+08:00

mst's are finally over. well. all i can say is, i definitely study better during the wee hours of the morning.

2009-07-08T14:29:00.002+08:00

2009-07-06T12:26:00.003+08:00

i'm really not focusing at all. am i so prepared to do badly for my modules and fail them? shit.

ok, summarising what i did last week,

THURSDAY
went to the gym with haikal from 2plus till 5pm. then met up with hiroshi and zhengyi at bugis to jam. we haven't jammed with each other in months! i figured it was about 2-3months since we last jammed. but that session was great. we even composed one song there. not completed but getting there. maybe next session, we'll finish it up. jammed from 6-8pm then had dinner at kampong gelam(glam). then went home.

FRIDAY
went to ssdc to help my mum do somethings for her driving things, joshua was there accompanying me. then finished at around 1plus. went over to amk kfc to have lunch, met laywoon and ryan joined us later during our lunch. finished lunch, joshua using roller blades, ryan with skateboard and me on unicycle/unibike, we rode to bishan. bought drinks then made our way to the skatepark.

later some of the guys came and we continued skating. i had a rather major wipeout that day. was using one of the other guy's blades and went down the quarter- pipe. BUTT VS GROUND. GROUND WON. my butt hurt so bad that day. damn. stayed there from 2plus till 9.30pm skateboarding unicycling and blading. then had dinner at the chicken rice stall. then went home.

SATURDAY
went for a picnic at ecp with the band gang. was fun, seriously. picniced from 11- 2pm. played eating games and fooled around then went cycling from 2-6pm. we cycled from ecp all the way to changi beach and back. distance cycled, 30km!! that's a long cycle!

then went to yishun to meet afiq to talk about our band stuff. talked till 11. then went over to admiralty to get my laptop from ralph and alex was there also. then chat with them till 12.30am. and i finally went home.

SUNDAY
was suppose to jam with Head-shot at 5 but the bassist couldn't make it so we called it off and had a band meeting instead. talked, discussed, this and that. ended at around 8pm and made our way to lau pa sat to have dinner. there was me syahrul afiq fadzli and aini. had 60 sticks of satay! afiq's treat to us. ate, walked slowly then trained home.

TODAY
hoping to study, so gotta concentrate. tmr is the paper!! and i have 2 papers tmr. one in the morning, another in the afternooon. and i've been having an ulcer on the back of my throat for about a week now and it's painful. i even had a dream about my ulcer.

ok. posting some pictures from my week and some pictures from my phone.

there seems to be problems with uploading pictures. well next time then

2009-07-01T13:21:00.001+08:00

i'm still trying to study.

i only got 3 papers to study for but still i'm not studying any of it. please somebody get a stone and knock it on my head, so that i'd wake up.

today would be another attempt to study again, and i'm only left with 6 days before my first paper. and one more thing. i'm fucking screwed with maths!!! god dammit!

2009-06-28T22:52:00.003+08:00

i just realised that i am somewhat hot tempered.

and i am also irritating according to some.

my relationship with my family is, don't give a shit about what they're doing and nothing would go wrong.
the only time i should care about anything with the family is when it involves me. but besides that, i shouldn't.

ok. just finished a slight arguement with my bro. i can say that i started it. and it could have gone really really bad. i almost threw my fist to his face. god dammit, best is i don't talk to him. and the thing i hate most is, he likes to hang out with his bitch of a motherfuckin friends. to me his friends are bad influence to him.

that's in my point of view. but to him, they're not bad people. so to me, i'm saying his friends are purely bitchass jerkoff motherfuckers.

2009-06-27T22:54:00.007+08:00

some pics from the sec 4 outing last wednesday.

radzi and hakim are missing. damn.

2009-06-25T20:40:00.002+08:00

2009-06-22T11:10:00.003+08:00

when i get on the drums, i play to achieve something. it's different from just playing for the sake of playing. i enjoy playing it for fun but what i enjoy most is the concentration and focus given from everyone to create music.

i would say that i like to play the drums seriously especially during jamming. whenever we go for a session, it's just 2hrs of music. but to get to this 2hrs of music, we gotta wait for 2weeks at a time.

so when the time comes to fulfil this 2hrs in every 2weeks, i'd want it that we put in our all during this 2hrs.

you don't get good just by saying it, you gotta practise. it goes the same for everything else. you can never acomplish anything just by thinking that you're gonna do it, you just gotta do it. it takes effort.

2009-06-13T16:13:00.005+08:00

just came back from ecp a few hours ago.

had a bbq and overnight with my sec school friends and their friends. well i was sleeping half the time and high the other half.

but something happened AGAIN! at around 10plus pm i guess, all of us sitting infront of our tents, heard a lady screaming.
she was screaming like as if she was in trouble. which she was.
she was drowning.

first thing that came to my mind was, well nothing came up. all i did was tell my friends to go and save her and they did. me on the other hand, didn't fell anything, any urge whatsoever. so i continued eating the bbq-ed hotdogs which were done coooking.

then i walked up to the seaside to just make sure that my friends were alright then once i assured that my friends are alright, i went back to the food.

the lady who was saved was an indian woman, wearing a nurse uniform and probably around the age 24plus?

i feel nothing. to me it wasn't a big deal.

once the whole ordeal was over, i was as per usual but the guys who went into the water to save the lady needed to cool down a lil.. i mean common, they jumped into the water, in the dark to save someone whom they didn't even know.

then a few hours later, everything was back to normal.

2009-06-07T14:36:00.003+08:00

time out with the dudes was great. it's been almost a month since we've all get together and do something.

well i won't elaborate to much on the evening, but it was good and tiring.

syahrul danial fadzli(jo/ joe) afiq

2009-06-06T21:46:00.002+08:00

am i a heartless person?
i'm wondering about it right now.

i didn't much care about the guy i assisted when he drowned and i just feel normal. at that point of time, i felt that i didn't feel anything. get it? i'm not sure how to explain it but the guy drowning didn't give me any emotional effect. whereas the rest of my friends felt otherwise.

am i a heartless person?
one who simply cares about what goes on in my own life? one who doesn't who and who is in danger unless is a person close to me?

so does that ultimately mean that i'm a bad person?? am i?
i just learnt that one of my relatives had passed away. and i don't know what to say. i know i'm suppose to be feeling sad but i don't really do. this makes me think that i'm a fucking asshole who has no regard for life.

i'm sorry uncle. i'm sorry. rest in peace.

2009-06-04T23:55:00.006+08:00

had school, fell sick in school, vommited in school, slept in school.

that was what happened to me in school.

after school, met up with wentheng and the rest to celebrate wentheng and peizhi's advance birthday celebration. at swensens, J8.

note to self, the breaded chicken there SUCKS! fuck! it was the most unsatisfying $15 meal i've ever spent on, shit! even my mum prepares food which looks better than what i got earlier.
it looked like a deadman's diet. i had no mood to finish up the food. god damn it. fuck. never eating there again. son of a bitch.
and to add on to that, my food took the longest to arrive. kept me and the rest from eating just for that, and i'm paying for it. fuck. the hell with that shit.

on a brighter side, let me show you what my mum could prepare.

i don't know why the photos are sideways. they just are.
this is her half a chicken with mashed potatoes and a side of vegetables(with gravy)

and this is her steak with cheesy frank, mashed potatoes and a side of corn and vegetables(with gravy)

alright, pictures for this evening.

the girls (shital's not in the pictue)(she's not in singapore. she's back home)
wanru peizhi(Bgirl) jasmine wentheng(Bgirl)
the guys
danial ray huanqing nicholas

me and the birthday girl, wentheng.

me and the birthday girl, peizhi

Whole gang together.

had dinner, ate, talked and had fun.

alright, i'm glad that we're on good terms already. so everything's Ok. back to secondary3 days.

ohyeah!

well that's all. besides the chicken situation, the evening was great.

2009-06-02T12:15:00.003+08:00

school's starts at 3 today and ends at 5, 1 word, ohyeah! what a quick day today would be. but aside from that, i gotta finish up my french homework which i predict is gonna be hard, by thursday. matter of the question is how..

well as i have said before there's nothing to it but to do it. so, i guess tonight or the next night, i gotta sit myself down, get the french book and laptop and focus to finish up the french homwork. if not, i'm doomed.

oh and i can't find out what's the problem with my blogskin.. you can view this blog best with Internet Explorer. sucks a lil, when viewed through Google Chrome.

2009-05-30T23:50:00.003+08:00

Gutterbonez's gig was off the hook! if you guys weren't there, you've missed it. loud music, rocking headbangers, crowdsurfing, great music and mosh pits. it was great.

the place wasn't really that big but its good. cuz dark crowded area's makes the best performance experience. rocking along with the music and shouting the verses of random songs. money well spent.

congrats to gutterbonez for your successful first single. and hope you guys keep the music flowing through your veins. rock on!

alright, i'm out. starting to get a headache after all the shouting and headbanging..

2009-05-28T22:30:00.000+08:00

i just found out that my blogskin is fine when viewed through Internet Explorer, but is a lil screwed up when viewed through google chrome.

so here i am now, gonna try and fix this lil situation..

2009-05-25T22:11:00.000+08:00

THERE'S A TEST TOMORROW!! AND THURSDAY!!

that could only mean 1 thing.

I'm SCREWED!!

2009-05-24T11:54:00.002+08:00

i got tests all the way from last week till my 2weeks break in june. and after that, there is still mst after the 2weeks break. gotta take some time, sit down and really study. there's no highway option with that.

you can't just get smart just in a blink of an eye. gotta sit and concentrate. that's it.

anyways, any of you wanna go support my friend's gig which is on the 30th? tix are 8bucks a piece.

myspace http://www.myspace.com/gutterbonez

2009-05-20T20:50:00.002+08:00

had only an hour of school today. a lab review. it was bad because it only showed how clueless i was about what i've been doing in the course of the subject.

went to the gym with nicholas syahir and syahir's friend. after i don't know how long. oh and i saw jimmy there also. when we all reached, the place was packed with a japanese rugby team. all of them were huge and tall, working out around them was intimidating? serious shit.

and now i gotta study for a test tomorrow plus i gotta do some other stuffs also due tomorrow. shit!

2009-05-19T22:46:00.006+08:00

finally found a blogskin which was simple yet eye catching to me. not much but i find it alright. now on i'll try to post more. this is my so called journal anyways. just that its not private.

well, had the first class outing, incomplete, last friday evening. just got the photos yesterday so here it goes.
after class, the group of us went to the cathay to watch angels and demons, which was pretty good. then we took some photos and made our way for dinner at burger king. finished dinner then walked all the way from dhoby ghaut to cineleisure. slack here and there then took the train home and met ralph on the way in the mrt.

this part i was telling the girls that i could stuff a mouthful of the burger in my mouth.

and so i did.

and it was FANTASTIC.

overall, good movie, good dinner, good company. evening well spent.

2009-05-06T13:25:00.003+08:00

hello.

i wanna go jamming. lets just rock the place down! hate the fact that jamming is getting lesser nowadays..

and things are starting to feel boring and normal again.

One, two, buckle my shoe

Three, four, shut the door

Five, six, pick up sticks

Seven, eight, lay them straight

London bridges falling down, falling down, falling down

London bridges falling down, my fair lady

2009-05-01T10:47:00.002+08:00

today i woke up with the same dream i had yesterday. well the dream was about the same focus. so can somebody tell me what it means?

what does dreams translate to? is it your subconscious mind trying to tell you something or is it that your subconscious mind wants to feel something you can't in real life.

if anyone knows what it means to have the same dream everynight, do tell me.

2009-04-30T19:59:00.004+08:00

the peak of my sickness was as predicted. during my last post when i said that i wasn't going to get any better tomorrow, i was right. on the ball right.

i went to school in the morning as usual but once it reached the afternoon, i was shivering a lot. i felt so cold and all my fingernails we practically purple. it was bad. plus it was raining that same afternoon.

i was suppose to go for a meeting that evening but due to my current condition then, i didn't. went home instead. while on the train i called my bro to get him to cook a simple meal for me once i reached home.

so i got home, changed and ate the simple meal that my bro cooked. ate my medicine and checked my body temperature. to my surprise, my temp was 39.3C. i thought that it was higher but 39.3C is pretty the highest record for me. felt so weak and shitty i just slept. then i remembered sweating all night long and it was really uncomfortable.

slowly but surely, i think i'm getting better.

I'd like to wish a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to 2 of my friends,

APPLE 17 [29th April]

JASMINE 18 [30th April]

2009-04-28T10:01:00.002+08:00

i feel as sick as a dog today. yesterday wasn't as bad as today but i'm sure i won't be getting better tomorrow.

flu, headaches, cough. that really sucks.

2009-04-23T00:06:00.003+08:00

current time, 12.06am and i'm not asleep. this is bad. i gotta get up at 6 tomorrow.

hmm. i'm wondering, why does everything feels like black and white. or maybe grey. i feel nothing. i feel that i've lost my sense my feelings. everything is normal to me.

sometimes i'd think that i'm a pessimist, or i'm a realistic person in my own way. i can't feel much. that's the problem. any of you feel that way? i'm just going along with what happens to me. just going with the flow. there's no climax to how i feel towards anything.

and this relates to emptiness. i feel empty inside. and sometimes i don't know what to feel at certain times. everything just feels the same. i can't feel any CLIMAX.

this feeling has always been here, i just feel like throwing it out here in hopes to calm myself right now. i have no comments on whatever is happening around me. it feels shitty. not being able to engage any feeling on life. feelings and emotions are not the same to me. you guys have seen me. i'm always the same.

my emotions would change, but rarely. yet my feelings are the same, normal, no comments kinda feeling. i don't know how to explain it and i guess you guys are getting confused. all i know is that i feel shitty..

2009-04-21T20:37:00.003+08:00

school's the same. same people, same course of study, same study block etc.
but even though year 2 is gonna be a hella of a time, my timetable isn't really bad.

Starting and Ending time for everyday.
Monday: 10am- 8.30pm
Tuesday: 12pm- 5pm
Wednesday: 10am- 1pm
Thursday: 8am- 4pm
Friday: Same as thursday.

it's not that bad actually.. anyways, i got no school tomorrow. lesson cancelled! wooot!
bye.

2009-04-19T10:54:00.002+08:00

school is starting tomorrow. are you ready for it? year 2 here i come! gotta try, yes TRY to do better. cuz if you're willing to try, with enough concentration, could be done.

i kinda messed up my 1st year gpa, so this time round, gotta work hard. no scratch that. gotta pay attention.

boring...

2009-04-12T20:29:00.002+08:00

why won't you just do something with yourself? it's not like i give a shit but some of the things that you don't do affects me. and that ain't right.

ever heard of the phrase, "Do the right thing."???
i believe in your case, your stand would be, yea i've heard it. but sorry to break your bubble but you're NOT doing the right thing.

so why don't you pick up a new attitude, brain or whatever it is that is making you act like a shit. and make yourSELF a better person for everyone else.

there i've said my peace. end of discussion.

2009-04-10T01:26:00.002+08:00

gonna do this tag sent by illene. but just doing from question 1- 14. the rest, lazy..

1. Beside your lips , where is your favourite spot to get kissed?
Does this question apply for a guy? if i have to answer, the cheeks?

2. How do you feel when you woke up this morning?
Rushed. i was thinking if i'll be late meeting up with my friend.

3. Who was the last person you took picture with?
the guys a hung out with earlier.

4. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
Nope.

5. Would you ever donate blood?
Thought of it. Never actually done it.

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
I guess so..

7. Do you want someone dead?
Nope.

8. What does your last text message say?
"Ya.miting.jap agi jln."

9. What are you thinking of right now?
Please don't get the sudden migrane. Please.

10. Do you wish someone was with you right now?
Like who?

11. What time did you go to sleep last night?
2plus in the morning.

12. Where did you buy the shirt you are wearing now?
I'm not wearing ANY!!

13. Is someone on your mind right now?
Nope.

14. Who was the last person to text you?
Afiq.

What happened on THURSDAY.

Went for band today, met up with jas first then headed on to school for me to have my lunch. Finished band and met up with fadzli hakim and the rest of their friends. Earlier was by far the biggest group i have ever had shishaa with. We had like 4 of it and there were 15 people. The shit was off the hook!
It's always the best when it's ending.

Well that's all folks!

2009-04-05T20:20:00.003+08:00

today is a very special day for a very special person. one very close to me and has always been there for me. the special person who would show you the way when you're lost, the one who is the wind beneath your wings, the one you could always count on.

this special someone is....

my very much loved mother.

i would like to wish you a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY. you've always been there to care, love and shelter me and be the one who worries about me if i'm not back. you're the strongest person to me, you bare so much yet you manage to get things going. i don't know what i'll do without you. i love you mum and that's from the heart.

enjoy your day. rest well, be well, live life =D once again HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!!

2009-04-02T20:42:00.002+08:00

i don't have anything to blog about lately..

everything's on routine so there's nothing that interesting.

even though i'm working, i'm still deadbeat BROKE! dammit!

when oh when is my pay gonna come in. at least if it comes i can buy the things i want and be broke again! wahahaha

well i'm working again tomorrow.

2009-03-26T19:27:00.000+08:00

i work in a factory!

so less free time to hang out. and i gotta learn to wake up on time/early.

2009-03-24T00:41:00.002+08:00

where oh where oh where are you
i've been looking high and low yet fail to find you
is it that i'm not trying hard enough or
am i just not good
not good to the point that it
ruins your mood

may i know what i did wrong
to deserve this silent symphony of songs
or am i just over the hill
thinking about what happens still

i'm simply looking for a sign to
see if you are mine
but whatever is mine
is mine and is yours until the
end of time.

2009-03-22T22:16:00.003+08:00

today was a nothing to do day. (wait scratch that, nothing MUCH to do day)

woke up at around 8am, used the com, ate, slept, woke up and used the com again. then i finally after i don't know how long, took my unicycle out for a ride.

besides that, i did nothing much really.

and my mum wants me to go for a haircut tomorrow.. so after tomorrow hopefully i'll have a new hairstyle. ya'll wait and see.

2009-03-21T20:58:00.002+08:00

i'm back.

indonesia was alright, met lots of my relatives and i'm an uncle there. haha. as in i got niece and nephews there. woot. i lived over at my grandmother's sister's place over at medan. the place is more of a village 1/4 way of becoming modern. it's totally different between here and there. i was at war most of the nights there with the mosquitoes. they're a pain in the butt if you know what i mean.

carrying on, my dad and i was suppose to get on a flight on 19/3/08 at 8.30 AM. BUT! when we reached the airport over at 7.50am? around there, they said that we can't board the flight. claiming that the plane is about to depart. so, we couldn't even get on the flight even if we didn't even bring our baggage with us. it's kinda like what the hell, the flight timing is at 8.30am but the flight door was closed at 7.50. WTF

so we went to a travelling agent which grandma suggested. the next flight to singapore was at 8.30PM the same day. we bought the tickets from the agent cuz it was the cheapest. the airport charged a 1 way trip ticket US$300, the agent charged a 1 way trip ticket US$165 but a 2 way trip ticket US$133. so we bought the 2 way ticket. cuz it was the cheapest.

reached singapore at 10.50pm and home at 11.50pm. unpacked, showered and packed my bag for the band camp. finished everything at 1plus am and dad drove me to the camp. spent day and night there, did this and that, ate this and that, and had lack of sleep. AMAZING. yes amazing, time well spent. somehow it's amazing to me.

so here i am now, all relaxed and clean. i've said my peace, i'm out.

2009-03-14T05:03:00.002+08:00

i'm going to fly off today.

it'll just be for a couple of day then when i get back, i have to make my way for band practise. gonna be tired!! whoohoo. confirm power!

but i think my bag is still not packed properly. shit. i don't want it to be like suddenly later over at indonesia, then i forgot to bring something. then i'll be like, shit! so what am i gonna do now??!?!

i'm gonna sleep later, wake up then recheck my luggage bag. and hopefully i don't forget to bring anything.

till then, take care people. see ya around

2009-03-12T23:35:00.003+08:00

yawn...

there's beef stew waiting for me in the kitchen, i'd better go greet it with a hungry stomach! hahahaha.. nothing but beef and mutton and meat to make a man's stomach happy.

thus i shall go and happy-fy myself with the food available.

yummy! that's gooooood eating!

ouh and i've put my tagboard online again. peace

2009-03-11T14:04:00.002+08:00

2 more days before take off. or was it 3... anyways, i'm flying off to indonesia on this coming saturday.

purpose of trip, i'm still not quite sure yet. i supppose it's simply me and my dad meeting our relatives. it started around the end of last year when my dad flew to indonesia, padang, with some of his relatives then suddenly when he came back, he was asking me if he invited me to go to indonesia, medan, with him, would i want to? then i was like "hmm why not".

so here i am not.. luggage bag not packed at all and still fooling around here and there.

anyways, gonna meet up with hiroshi and zheng yi go jam and bond. it's been like a few months since we last jammed. alright, gtg. cya.

2009-03-09T01:53:00.002+08:00

well, looks like i'm gonna be tired tomorrow. somebody's not going to sleep tonight. for fear of not being to wake up on time later.

how would you like it if someone put makeup all over your face?
what's his problem..

aren't you suppose to knock?
hello, i'm talking to you, i'm talking to you.

what are you doing?
don't throw it out i still might eat it.

what are you revolutionaries up to.
well let me put it to you this way.

think of me as Darth Vader.
the last thing you want is for the empire to strike back.

life is about being random. random mistakes and happiness. it's like the pursuit of happiness.

2009-03-08T13:46:00.003+08:00

the start of today was great. in fact, it's the best this week if i remembered correctly. as i woke up in the morning, i was greeted by my mum asking me if i wanted subway for breakfast. i definitely know what she meant, and i said YES!

her version of subway is those type of long bread filled with mayo, lettuce, tomatoes, grilled chicken and onions. simple but great. plus i asked her if i could have a side of cheese egg omelette. and she was more than happy to do it for me. my breakfast was great. i love a good breakfast in the morning, i really do. nothing is better then starting a day with a great breakfast. and for dessert, i had a pandan cake with melted chocolate over it. doesn't it sound good. as a matter of fact, it's GREAT!

today is a definitely good day. love you mum.

SANDWICH! SANDWICH! SANDWICH! SANDWICH! SANDWICH! SANDWICH!

2009-03-06T10:26:00.002+08:00

as i've said before, life's a plate of shit and everyone would get an equal share of it. but at the same time, life is about how much you can take. take as in how long you can stay standing after getting hit.

it has been said and done. outcomes are never the way you picture it but everything else still goes on. so make do with what's in hand and make do with it.

but it's never as easy as one says it is. so, we shall see. i've said my peace. that shall be all.

2009-03-03T21:14:00.002+08:00

where's all the money at?

i'm broke. i'm so broke i make rats look rich.

on a lighter note, i'm not sad or depressed or emotional. i just needed to throw out my feelings. =D

why consult to one when you can blog about it BUT there's no tagboard to comment on.. haha!! i'm alright. i'm fly.. hahaha

2009-03-02T19:41:00.008+08:00

seeing you makes me happy, thinking of you also makes me happy. somehow it still does. even though i can't have you.
i guess it's you smile. smiling is the greatest gift. at least for you it is.

whenever i see your name around, my heart skips a beat. but the shock about it is, it's not how i imagined it to be. okok.. i guess you're lost. i'm not where i see myself with you. or you're not where i see is..

i'm not with you. but i wanna be.
all i need is another chance. but can i have it.. i'll never know.

(and don't ya'll motherfuckers think that i'm emoing right now aite, cuz i'm not)

2009-03-02T00:23:00.003+08:00

jamming is always a good thing. i enjoy it very very much. one session may vary from 1-4 hours, you can play as long as you want infact. that is if you've got the cash to pay the rent fee.

it's loud, fun, and most of all, i'm doing what i love most. plus i got no worries when jamming, won't think of the fucked up things going on around me and other fucked up stuffs. it's great.

anyone needs a drummer? not that i'm not already in a band, but i'd like to go jamming often. haha

rockin beats! great pedals

2009-03-01T01:45:00.004+08:00

alright, i'm officially aimless. this feeling kinda sucks actually. there's more to it beneath the eyes. and no one knows about it. i guess it's a good thing, or maybe not. well the bottomline is that i'm totally aimless.

i got multiple things to say but am restricted for fear of dumb fuck son of a bitches who would think of me the wrong way. fuck. this sucks. keep this to yourself if you happen to be reading. i don't wanna hear shit about what you people think of me. because truth be told, i don't give a fuck but it doesn't mean that i'd like to hear shit from you guys.

i hear things like, dan do this, do that, don't do this, don't do that. i don't mind it at first but it's starting to piss me off. i don't give a fuck. what the fuck am i suppose to be? a person the way you want it or the way i wanna be? and i realised that i don't know what you two faced, good person in front of me, think of me. am i a good guy or a bad guy?

i don't get it. sometimes i'll take the thought of what i could do to better myself, and change myself into a slightly better person whilst keeping my natural side.

but somehow.. everytime i do a lil change, i get this sense of negativity around me.

confused is what i am now. i really am. fuck it.

2009-02-26T03:33:00.002+08:00

it's, 3 plus in the morning. and i'm going to IKEA tmr. i mean later. just for the fun of it..

2009-02-26T01:21:00.003+08:00

it's the holidays!! yeah, i've said it. and i'm bored.. i've got no money and i'm lazy to go look for a job.

hanging out's a bitch when you're broke. get what i mean?

spot the difference....

2009-02-22T14:31:00.002+08:00

i'm over at One Kiosk Starbucks right now.. trying to study. final paper is coming up next week and the progress for the subject isn't very good. in fact, i think it's bad. not "burn to the ground" bad, just "bad"bad. ya.

hoping to at least KNOW what is going on. if not, i'll definitely be screwed! SCREWED I TELL YA!

2009-02-21T03:09:00.003+08:00

is it just me or is tonight a freaking humid night?
i can't get to sleep, and the air feels really stuffy. shit. it's 3 in the morning and i can't get to sleep even though i'm tired. damn.

i'm feeling hot! and i can't get to sleep! dammit!

fuck!

2009-02-18T18:00:00.002+08:00

well as you can see, i haven't been updating my blog on timing. and i have a perfectly good reason for it.

i was busy studying or preparing to study or was doing something study related. it's the final lap and time to go for the win. if not.. then i'll be screwed.

well i'm gonna keep this short, 1 paper down, 2 left.
think of the possibilities after all my papers are done.. =D woot x3
peace

2009-02-10T12:29:00.002+08:00

it's tuesday and i'm at home. yesterday went to school to study for the final exams. thinking of something to do and actually doing it is 2 completely different things. initially planned to study 2 subjects that day but in the end, turned out playing games. whooohooo. that's called concentration to the highest grade people.

well if i made a countdown, it'll be 8 days before the first paper, 10 days before the next and 14 days before the last one.

wow, doing the countdown makes me feel shittier,
as i've derived before,

STRESS = AMOUNT OF WORK YOU'VE GOT/ MINIMAL TIME

i'll be in peace for now thinking of what i will do for today. cheers

2009-02-08T01:00:00.005+08:00

2009-02-07T11:54:00.002+08:00

woke up on time this morning wanting to get ready for band prac. but the most hated shit happened. i got a major headache all of a sudden, it felt as if someone was banging a sledgehammer on my head. so due to that, i didn't go for band prac. instead, i walked to the kitchen with some paracetamol in my hands and ate it. then went back to sleep.

sucks to be in this condition right now. and i don't even know how the hell i got the headache. shit. now i'm starting to get pissed off just thinking about it. fuck!

ahh, balls man, whatever. i'm gonna go have breakfast now.

plans for later, if i'm feeling better, go down to cityhall to study over there. cheers

2009-02-06T19:04:00.002+08:00

initially i said yesterday that i'll be going to the library tomorrow right? turns out, plans change. everyone was busy so i was kinda like, "what? shit man!". i had the whole afternoon free. went to school for a two hour lesson which ended an hour early. slacked for 2 hours at a void deck then went to have lunch.

while having lunch, i saw some of the people i'm suppose to go to the library with. what a coincidence. so that was it.

once i finished lunch, went home. at home so bored then turned out taking a nap. woke up and here i am now.. shit man!

better study, note to self, stop being a lazy motherfucker and study.

2009-02-05T21:07:00.002+08:00

yesterday i made history!

came home at about 2pm plus. took a nap till about 7pm. woke up had dinner had dinner and finished at around 8pm.

that wasn't the history. after dinner and everything else, i started to study for my test which was earlier this morning at 8.30am.

alright. so i started studying at 8pm plus then studied, and studied, and studied till like 4plus 5am the next morning! can you believe that shit??? believe me it, this shit is real. it's the first time i ever studied for such a long period of time and didn't slack off. i had like a 5 minutes break after a few hours of studying.
the shit was off the hook! i felt that i've achieved something great. to some, studying that long might be stupid, lack of concentration and some other stuffs. but it was fine to me then.. i think it was the determination.. hahaa! but it was really a great achievement for me.

packed at around 4plus 5am then slept till 6.30am. woke up and prepared for school.
did the test and left the lecture hall satisfied. hopefully i could get a good grade.

now i'm at home. playing with my pedals. cool.
tmr, gonna go study again. alright, that's all. i'm out! cheers

2009-02-01T22:15:00.003+08:00

gotta try and start studying again. it's gonna be a bitch for me to study but no choice. it's school. therefore important.

damn.

and mum, can i have money to buy me a bass pedal pad...

2009-01-29T00:04:00.001+08:00

gotta start studying.. and really study intead of dosing off.

2009-01-26T09:15:00.004+08:00

well it's officially the new year already, for the chinese that is. so i'd like to wish a Happy Chinese New/Niu Year to all my chinese friends.

i'm wondering. are the stalls gonna be closed today? cuz i'm thinking of hanging out later.

oh well.. we'll see how things go.

2009-01-25T18:32:00.002+08:00

alright. i'm completely stunned.

i'm currently in a position whereby i don't know where i should even begin or continue. where do you go when you're lost? too bad there's no helpdesk for such things.

how does one become happy? by making others happy? or by ensuring that oneself is happy? if you're not happy then what are you then? miserable?

maybe that's life. as i quote from a friend, "life's a plate of shit, and we are all gonna have a share of it".

what am i suppose to do now?....
i have one thing in mind but don't feel like doing it now..

2009-01-25T00:11:00.003+08:00

ever had the feeling whereby you thought that you were good at something. then it turns out that you're not that good.

well i had that feeling earlier on. fuck man. i'm like FUCK! sure i could play drums but i'm not good at it. shit. it's the shittiest feeling you could get.

you think and you think, trying to see if you can ever be better than now. but fuck, i feel that i'm stagnant. i'm just there and no where else. i'm not bad but neither am i good. i'm just in the middle. i'm like normal. but that's the thing. i don't want to be normal. i wanna be better.

crap. only time will tell how good i'll turn out to be.

and i seem to need an advisor.

2009-01-23T00:15:00.002+08:00

i finally got my AHEAD sticks!

the feeling of wanting and then getting something you really want is.. AMAZING.
well it costs me $66 bucks but i'm glad that i have the sticks.

alright, so i got my tama pedals. my quadropad. my AHEAD drumsticks. i'm only left with getting a practise pad for my bass pedal. and after that. i'm pretty much gonna stop buying anything else related to music. yeap.

alright. it's late. and i don't wanna be later for school again. cheers

2009-01-20T21:08:00.003+08:00

this shit sucks. i've been wanting to get a pair of joey jordison ahead sticks since last week but i just don't have the time to go down to the shop over at haji lane.

i got lessons which all ends at 5 from tomorrow till the end of the week. and the shop which sells the sticks closes at 6. from yck to bugis would take quite a while. so i don't think i can make it. shit.

i wanna get the sticks before this sat. dammit..

just in case you guys aren't aware of what i'm talking about, it's basically a pair of stick which joey jordison uses. they're plastics and not wood. so it is kinda expensive.

on another note.

see this guy. he's the best dad i can ever ask for. i wouldn't never trade him for anyone elses'. he's patient, hardworking and has so many other good traits.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD. you've turned 49 and you're great. for all the things you do like doing the chores which we children are suppose to do and always waking up early to buy the groceries and doing all the good things for us. and sometimes asking us out for supper even though you're tired after work.

you are the best dad ever. hands down.

2009-01-19T21:58:00.001+08:00

gotta study bitch!

i got tests after tests after tests.

well there's nothing else i could do but study. so cya.

2009-01-13T08:26:00.004+08:00

morning. yesterday night i went out at night to play bowling with some of my primay school mates.

played 4 rounds. 1st round i think i got second or third place then the continuous rounds, i toppped it all.

bowling is definitely a good leisure activity, the only problem is that its expensive. but nevertheless, all 4 of us had a great time.

the four people are, sya fiq rul kong.

alright, gotta go. needa prepare for school. cheers

2009-01-12T19:56:00.003+08:00

SHIT! i lost my O level certificate!

what happens if i lose it? do i still need it? i'm already in poly, trying to get a diploma. and if i wanna go to university, would they check my O level certificate or my diploma? diploma right?

ok...

anyways, i just wanna know what happens if i lost my O level cert.?

2009-01-11T14:35:00.002+08:00

it's been 3 days and i'm still sick. it sucks being sick, you can't taste food, you feel tired, all you wanna do is nothing but rest. but too much rest makes you feel like crap.

i hate being sick, i bet everyone else also hates being sick. it's sickening.

yesterday, managed to go down to haji lane, drum resource, to check out the joey jordison ahead sticks. the price of the one pair of sticks is $66. man is that expensive. i'm still think if i should invest on those sticks or just settle with wooden sticks..

2009-01-09T19:53:00.002+08:00

fuck it man, i'm sick. and this shit ain't cool. FUCK! this shit really spoils my whole mood.

FUCK

2009-01-08T21:26:00.007+08:00

only had lessons from 3 till 5 today. one 2hr lecture. and that was it. not much of a day today.

well back to music then.

2009-01-07T22:37:00.003+08:00

as you can see, i changed my blogskin. kept the fact and scraped the rest off. everything is on a need to know basis.

hope you guys like it, oh wait a minute. i don't care. haha, sucks to be you man.

anyways, that's it. i changed my blogskin.
see ya on the flipside. and here's a video you can headbang to.

2009-01-06T19:54:00.003+08:00

i know it's kinda late for new year resolutions and stuff. but heck, i'm just gonna write it anyways.

this year, my new year resolution would be;
be less lazy, be more hardworking and disciplined
not to sin
do things without regrets
i think there's more but i'll just write down this 3.

that shall be all.
ouh and btw, i LOVE my mum's peach float! whoohoo delicious!